Why Durga Puja-Themed 'Viral' Ad Film 'Debi' Left Me Cold

October 17, 2015, 12:46 am

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(Heart)Breaking News: Most Bengalis, a staggering number of them from West Bengal, haven't ever lived in one of those 'Bengali houses'. You know, the ones with snaking, marble-floored verandahs where deodorants snatch religious Bengali women's abilities to distinguish between a shaved-chested man and a fat piece of hilsa. Or ones with courtyards the size of Zara outlets, where you can watch your crush flirt with your aunt as your heart turns into makha (mashed) sandesh. Or ones in which, men without a single ounce of extra fat on their bodies, dance with a earthen censer held in their mouth. Ones with tall green windows, red floors, weathered ochre pillars. Ones where Pujo means women in red-and-white sarees and elaborate gold naths sitting in haphazard circles arranging flowers in copper vessels and blowing conch shells without their lipstick bleeding into their teeth.

It may be slightly hard to believe that's not your average Kolkata Durga Puja, thanks to a zillion ads, a hundred Bollywood scenes and couture photoshoots which make the festival only and exclusively about the celebrations in old, affluent Bengali families of Kolkata. For a sweeping majority of Kolkata's population, Pujo isn't a Sanjay Leela Bhansali extravaganza unfolding under glittering chandeliers and giant courtyards.

For example, many of us grew up in the matchbox apartments and modest houses that swamp Kolkata and are only worth our individual, perhaps inconsequential, memories. Houses that jostle for space with their clones in lanes and bylanes, apartments landscaped identically, floor after floor, and at times, building after building. Little and big boxes that don't - and maybe cannot afford to - wear the popular 'Kolkata distinguishers' on their skins. What did we build our Pujo around? Apparently, nothing that makes for great cinematic adventures.

And nothing that could appeal to filmmakers and ad filmmakers as convincingly Bengali, it seems. Pandals with frazzled, sweaty, deeply competitive and weary humans. They fight for space, mumble their prayers, click pictures loudly debate the number of coins that should make way into the pronaami (donation) box in a two-minute time span - you don't see much of them in this oh-Bengalis-so-quaint ads.



The little mobs of people in front of the road-side 'Chinese stall' wolfing down orange-red noodles with plumes of diced raw onions and cucumbers sitting on top of each plate, they too hardly ever make the filmi cut.

The crowd - faces shiny with sweat, handkerchiefs and paper horns clutched in the same fist, furiously taking swigs off cola bottles and cursing the traffic as they stand behind ropes held up by irritated traffic sergeants - they are most definitely never going to make it to a commercial or short film trying to scream textbook nostalgia in every frame.

Perhaps that's why, Debi, a promotional short film by Emami Healthy and Tasty, seems to have gone viral on Facebook and has yet left me slightly cold.

The film shows a young girl, born and brought up in America coming to Kolkata for Pujo and meeting her Bengali relatives for the first time. Cooking helps her bind relationships, heal wounded ones and all this happens with Durga Pujo in the backdrop.



And like most other preceding ad film and film Pujo, this one doesn't remotely look like mine.

You know what Pujos like mine look like?

Firstly, you may want to heap three pillows on your head in the morning as the neighbourhood pandal starts playing puja chants on the loudspeaker. The chants are most likely to drown under the crackle and groan of the cheap speaker, which would magically work without hiccups later in the day as Kumar Sanu and Sonu Nigam take over. There will be the enthusiastic 'Pujo secretary' uncle - one you can spot by how frequently he is on the phone and the expanding circumference of the damp patch on the stomach of his kurta.

Then the men and women - who mostly keep to themselves the rest of the year - loiter into the pandal. And once they do, they will enquire about the inconsistency of your body weight over the years, nod their heads sympathetically at your insane work hours, your mother's arthritis, the city's traffic and the plummeting quality of fish in the market. There is nothing that goes uncared for inside that little cloth and bamboo structure. There is nothing too personal, nothing that can't be sympathised with, no problem whose solution can't be crowdsourced right there and no misfortune that someone else there hasn't suffered too.



Before you and they slink back behind the fences, you are asked to drink a lot of water, not lose any more weight, not drive at night. And if you are single or living alone, you get the supplementary advice on locking doors and shutting windows, and bargaining with domestic helps.

And this is just one of the many, many Pujos which make the big, noisy, feverish Kolkata Pujo.

The tiny pandals colonised by big speakers blaring Hindi music and little boys wriggling to it in the bylanes, the wan, dimly-lit ones with elders sitting and enjoying quiet chats, the Pujos inside apartments, the Pujos eating into the breadth of a main road - the city, this time of the year, is like a colony of doll houses with open doors.

Yet, time and again, popular depictions of it will only crawl over the vast courtyards of a handful of Kolkata homes and blissfully ignore the modern Pujo. It's called 'sarbojonin (meant for all)' for a reason. It's slightly disappointing that the Pujo stories that our filmmakers and ad filmmakers want to say, don't always get its spirit.

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Spot Reduction: How To Do It Right

October 17, 2015, 8:00 pm

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This article is from The Swaddle.



By Neville Wadia

Besides launching millions of sit-ups, leg lifts and torso twists, the idea of toning a specific part of the body has sold countless exercise devices of dubious worth. Vibrating belts and gut-busting contraptions all claim to tighten our trouble spots overnight. But the miracles we are expecting never materialize, and our "spots" remain un-"reduced." Where did we go wrong?

Spot reduction encourages us to think narrowly, to zero in on one part of the body. We forget the bigger picture and neglect the most important factor: fat (adipose tissue). Hundreds of crunches or leg lifts will improve the tone and endurance of abdominal muscles, but they won't burn fat. And without burning fat, crunches and leg lifts won't give you a smaller waist.

The key to changing the shape of your body is combining strength training with aerobic activity and a healthy diet. This article will teach you how to reduce weight around three key parts of the body.

STRENGTH TRAINING

The strength training exercises below focus on three of the most common "spots" people want to reduce. Try performing these spot exercises three times a week, but never two days in a row, in order to give your muscles time to recover.

Triceps (back of the upper arm)

Kickboxing is a double dose: It is great cardio, and the pushing and punching movements help tone your muscles. (20-45 minutes)

Push-ups are beginner-friendly, since they come in various versions. If you struggle with a regular push-up, start out by standing and leaning at an angle toward the wall, using it as your base. Then, you can graduate to push-ups on the floor with bent knees, and finally to full push-ups on your toes and palms. (10-15 reps / 3 sets)

Inchworm adds variety to your upper body workout. Stand straight, then bend over till your hands touch the floor. Try to keep your legs as straight as possible. Walk your hands forward as far as you can, while your feet stay in place, balancing your body weight between. Then walk your hands back till they touch your toes. This exercise strengthens your upper arms as well as your back and core muscles. (10-15 reps / 3 sets)



Abdomen (belly)

Plank has various iterations. In its most basic form, you balance on your toes and forearms, with your body perfectly straight between, and your head up. As you progress, you can make it harder by balancing on your palms, instead of forearms, or trying side planks. Also you can extend the length of time you hold the position up to one and a half minutes at a time--but only if you have perfect technique. (Hold 30 seconds / 3 sets)

Downward dog works your core abdomen muscles, arms and back, if held and repeated. From the plank position, lift yourself into a push-up position, palms flat on the floor and your feet flat on the ground. Lift your hips up, using your back and abdominal muscles, so that your body forms an upside down V shape, with palms and feet still flat on the floor. (Hold 30 seconds / 3 sets)

Cobra helps you build a stronger core by reversing what the above exercises do. When trying to tone a specific part of your body, it's just as important to stretch that muscle in the opposite direction. The cobra yoga position, where you lie face down, then lift your head, shoulders and torso up using your back and core, stretches your core muscles, strengthens your back muscles, and ultimately contributes more to spot reduction. (Hold 30 seconds / 3 sets)

Hips

Squats strengthen your glute muscles when done properly. Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart, and - keeping your heels flat on the floor and torso straight - lower your body down to where your thighs are parallel to the ground. Then stand up slowly while carefully preserving your posture. (10-15 reps / 3 sets)

Kick-backs are a lesser-known workout for the glute muscles. Get into a downward dog yoga position, bring one knee to your chest, then kick back, extending the leg fully. Take turns between legs to make sure you don't develop muscles unevenly. (10-15 reps / 3 sets)

Step-ups also good for your whole leg. Stand in front of a chair or low stool. Place your foot on the stool, and - keeping your body weight on the heel, not your toe - step onto the stool, bringing your other leg up with you. Step down with full control and repeat. Be sure to alternate your stepping leg in order to tone your legs evenly. (10-15 reps / 3 sets)



AEROBIC ACTIVITIES

Any aerobic activity that elevates your heart rate can help you burn fat and take off unwanted kilos. Try one of these exercises for at least three 20-minute sessions per week. (For long-term weight control, engage in at least four 45-minute sessions per week.)

• Boxing / Kickboxing


• Cycling


• Dancing


• Hiking / Trekking


• Martial Arts


• Skiing


• Squash


• Swimming


• Walking


• Water Sports

HEALTHY DIET

A healthy, balanced diet is a critical part of weight loss and long-term weight control. But a nutritionist or dietician can advise you best. Check out The Swaddle's Nutrition section for more information!



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The 3 Approaches To Change: Reform, Revolution And Rebellion

October 17, 2015, 8:00 pm

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Man's evolution passes through three stages: reform, revolution and rebellion.

Reform is the most superficial: it only touches the surface, it never goes more than skin-deep. It changes nothing but the window dressing of man; it changes the formalities. It gives man etiquette, manners -- a kind of civilization -- without changing anything essential in his being. It paints people, it polishes them, and yet deep down they remain the same. It is an illusion, it is fiction. It gives respectability, and makes everybody a hypocrite. It gives good manners, but they are against the inner core. The inner core has not even been understood. But for the society, reform creates smoothness.

"Reform does not require much from you. It says, 'Just make your front door beautiful.' You can let the whole house be dirty. You live in dirt, just don't allow your neighbours to see the dirt."

Reform functions like a lubricant. It keeps the status quo going, it helps things remain the same --which will look paradoxical, because the reformist claims that he is changing society, but in fact all that he does is paint the old society in new colours. And the old society can exist more easily in new colours than it could have ever done with the old ones. The old were getting rotten; reform is a kind of renovation. The house is falling; the supports are falling, the foundations are shaking, and you go on giving new props to it, and in this way you can keep the house from falling a little longer. Reform is in the service of the status quo: it serves the past not the future.

The second approach is revolution; it goes a little deeper. Reform only changes ideas, it does not even change policies. Revolution goes deeper and touches the structure -- but only the outer not the inner.

Man lives on two planes: one is the physical, the other is the spiritual. The revolution only goes to the physical structure -- the economic, the political; they belong to the physical plane. It goes deeper than reform, it destroys many old things and creates many new things; but the being, the innermost being of man still remains unchanged. Revolution deals with morality, it deals with character. Reform deals with manners, etiquette, civilisation, with changing the formal behaviour of the person. Revolution changes the outer structures, and really changes them. It brings a new structure, but the inner blueprint remains the same; the inner consciousness is not touched. Revolution creates a split.

The first approach, reform, creates hypocrisy. The second approach, revolution, creates schizophrenia, it creates unbridgeable divisions. Man starts falling into two beings, and the bridge is broken. That's why revolutionaries go on denying the soul -- Marx and Engels, Lenin and Stalin and Mao, all go on denying the soul. They have to deny it, they can't accept it because if they accept it then their whole revolution seems to be superficial; it becomes apparent that their revolution is not total.

The reformist does not deny the soul, remember. He accepts it because it creates no problem for him -- he never goes deeply enough to get to that point. Gandhi accepts the soul -- he is a reformist. Reformists never say no to anything, they are people who go on saying yes; they are polite people. Unless it becomes absolutely necessary they will not reject anything, they will accept all. But revolutionaries deny the soul. They have to deny it, otherwise their revolution looks partial.

"Morality goes only so far, beyond that it stumbles and disappears. Everybody has his price. The moral man has a price."

The third approach is rebellion. Rebellion is from the very essential core: it changes consciousness, it is radical; it transmutes, it is alchemical. It gives you a new being, not only a new body, not only new clothes, but a new being. A new man is born.

In the history of consciousness there have been three types of thinkers: the reformer, the revolutionary and the rebel. Manu, Moses, Gandhi -- these are reformers, the most superficial. John the Baptist, Marx, Freud --these are the revolutionaries. And Jesus, Buddha, Krishnamurti -- these are the rebels.

To understand rebellion is to understand the heart of religiousness. Religiousness is rebellion, it is utter change. Religiousness is a discontinuity with the past, the beginning of the new, the dropping of the old in its totality. Nothing has to be continued, because if something continues it will keep the old alive.

Reform paints the surface. Revolution destroys the old outer structure but the inner structure remains the same. In post-revolutionary communist societies the inner man has remained the same, there has been no difference, not a bit. They have had the same mind -- the same greedy, ambitious, egoistic mind; the same mind that is found in America or in capitalist countries. But the outer structure of the society has been changed. The outer structure of laws, state, economics, politics --that has been changed. And once the police force, the governmental power is taken away, people will fall back to their old patterns again. The centralised, post-revolutionary society can be managed only by force, it cannot become democratic, because to allow people to be independent will be allowing them to bring their inner being again into their lives. And the inner being is still there- - but they have been prevented, they have been obstructed; they cannot live it. They have to live by what the government says, they cannot live according to their being.

So communist societies have been basically dictatorial. And they will remain dictatorial, because the fear is that if man is given freedom, then because his consciousness is there -- the greed is there, the ambition is there, and all that has always been is there - it will start working again. People will become rich and poor, powerful and powerless. People will start exploiting each other, people will start fighting for their ambitions. Of course, those who are powerful in those societies are still doing the same. Khrushchev used to brag about his cars, because he had so many. Nobody else could have them in Russia, but everybody wanted to have a car. It was just an enforcement, not real revolution.

"Religiousness is rebellion, it is utter change. Religiousness is a discontinuity with the past, the beginning of the new, the dropping of the old in its totality."

Real revolution is spontaneous. That revolution is called rebellion.

A few more distinctions between these three words, then you will be able to understand my approach.

Reform does not require much from you. It says, "Just make your front door beautiful." You can let the whole house be dirty. You live in dirt, just don't allow your neighbours to see the dirt. But the front porch should be beautiful, because your neighbours are not interested in your inner being, in your inner house. They pass by the outside and they see only the front door. Do whatever you want, but do it at the back door. So the front door becomes a facade, a window, a showcase for the neighbours to see. You live at the back door really, you don't live at the front door. The front door is just there, artificial; you never enter through it, you never go out through it -- it is there just to be seen by others.

Look at your front doors -- everybody has them. They are called faces, masks, personalities because they are persona: lipstick and powder and cosmetics, they give you a persona. You are not that, it is just make-up.

Revolution goes deeper, but only a little deeper. It changes your drawing room so you can invite people in to sit there. In India it happens very often. In India the drawing room is beautiful, but don't go beyond that! People's kitchens are so dirty and ugly, their bathrooms are almost impossible. But nobody takes care of the bathroom or the kitchen; the only care that is taken is of the drawing room. It is there where you meet your guests.

This is false; it does not touch your real being, but it maintains your prestige. That's what morality is; it is a beautiful drawing-room. And if you can afford it, you can even have a Picasso painting in your drawing room. It depends on how much you can afford.

Morality goes only so far, beyond that it stumbles and disappears. Everybody has his price. The moral man has a price. Watch yourself -- if you are walking on the street and you find a thousand dollars, maybe you will try to find the owner. But if you find ten thousand, then you hesitate... to try and find the person or not? If you find one hundred thousand dollars, then there is no question, you take it for yourself. That shows how deep your morality is -- one thousand, ten thousand, one hundred thousand, everybody has a price. One can only afford that much, beyond that it is too much to sacrifice. The morality is not worth it! Then you would like to be immoral.

"Reform will make you a hypocrite, revolution will make you a schizophrenic. Only rebellion can give you your fullness of being, spontaneity, health, wholeness."

The moral person is not totally moral; only a few layers are moral, beyond that the immorality is waiting. So you can drive any moral person into immorality very easily. The only question is that you have to find out the price.

Reform is partial revolution. Revolution is outer revolution. Rebellion is inner revolution. And only when the inner has happened, is it dependable; otherwise it is not dependable. Reform will make you a hypocrite, revolution will make you a schizophrenic. Only rebellion can give you your fullness of being, spontaneity, health, wholeness.

Reform will make you respectable. If you are after respect, then reform is enough. It will give you a plastic personality. From the outside you will start looking beautiful. From the inside you will be rotten and stinking, but nobody will be able to smell your stinking being; the plastic will protect you. Inside you will go on getting dirtier and dirtier, but on the outside you will keep a good face.

Revolution will create a split in you. It will make you a saint, but the sinner will be repressed. The sinner has not been absorbed into the saint, the sinner has been cut off. Revolution will make you two persons: it will create two worlds in you. The natural will be repressed and the moral will be on top of it. The top dog, the moral person, will try to control the underdog, the natural person. And of course, the natural is very powerful because it is natural! So it will take revenge; it will go on sneaking into your life through any weak points it can find. It will disrupt your morality, it will create guilt, and you will be in constant conflict because nobody can be victorious over the natural.
Your support, your intellectual support, is for the moral - but your whole being's support is for the natural. The moral is in the conscious, and the natural is in the unconscious. The conscious is very small, and the unconscious is nine times stronger, nine times bigger than the conscious. But you only know the conscious, so in the conscious mind the morality will go on singing its song, and in the unconscious, which is nine times more powerful, all kinds of immoralities will go on growing deeper roots in you. It will make you a saint and a sinner - the sinner will be repressed, and the sinner will wait for the right time to erupt, for the right time to take revenge.

That's why people look so sad, people look so dissipated because their whole energy is going down the drain in this conflict. Continuous tension is there. The saint is very tense, he is always in anguish and always afraid -- afraid of his own being that he has denied. And the denied is still there! Sooner or later it will throw off the moralist, the egoist, the conscious pretender. It will overthrow the pretender.

Rebellion depends on awareness, revolution on character, reform on formalities.

Start by being more aware, then you start from the innermost. Let the light spread from there, so your whole being can be full of light. There is no way to go from the outside. The only way is to come from the inside -- just like a seed grows from the inside, sprouts from the inside and becomes a big tree. Let that be your inner work too -- like a seed, grow.

"Manu, Moses, Gandhi -- these are reformers, the most superficial. John the Baptist, Marx, Freud --these are the revolutionaries. And Jesus, Buddha, Krishnamurti -- these are the rebels."

Reform is patchwork, a kind of whitewash -- a little bit here, a little bit there, but the basic structure is not even touched. Reform can be for revolution or can be against revolution; it depends on you. There are two types of reformists: those who are preparing the ground for revolution or those who are trying to prevent the revolution. Reform gives the feeling that things are getting better, so what is the need of creating a revolution? Why go to that much trouble? Reform gives hope, and people stop trying to rebel. So it depends on you.

A person of right understanding can use reform also, but one who is not conscious will not be able to use reform as a means for revolution -- on the contrary, reform will become a hindrance for revolution. And so is the case with revolution. Revolution can be a door to rebellion, but only with awareness; otherwise it becomes a hindrance. One thinks, "Now the revolution has happened, what is the need to go any deeper? It is already too much."

So reform can either be a hindrance or a help. The same is the case with revolution. All depends on your awareness, all depends on your understanding -- how much you understand life.

So let this become one of the most fundamental rules of life and work: that everything ultimately depends on understanding, on how deeply you understand. Even something that was going to become a great help can become a hindrance if understanding is missing. And even sometimes that which was going to be poisonous, with understanding can be changed into something medicinal. All medicines are made of poisons: they don't kill, they help people to remain healthy. In the right hands even poison becomes medicine; and in the wrong hands, even medicine may prove to be a poison.

Excerpted from It's All About Change by Osho



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How I Got Rid Of The Fat Girl In My Head

October 17, 2015, 8:01 pm

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Meet The Fat Girl In My Head. She resided in me years after I had shed all my excess weight. She was my perception of me and I was attached to her. She ensured I lacked confidence and convinced me I wasn't good enough. Losing weight wasn't as hard as letting go of her.

Well it all started with a bet in the first year of college. Being from an all girls' school, our idea of college was a fairyland with lots of boys! So here I was 16, fat and ready for a little fairytale to happen, oblivious the "size matters" world.

I planned my first day of college for a month. Literally! The wardrobe. The accessories. The eyeliner. And it turned out not quite the way I had dreamed of. It was actually quite an eye opener. I felt like I had stepped into a skinny planet and the non-skinny who entered did so at their own risk.

"She was defeating. Nauseating. Disturbing. I needed her out. I needed an inner transformation."

While I was yet grappling with my size revelation, the big bet happened. Honestly, it was a three-minute bet. Silliest ever. Zero significance. The catch was the prize. Yeah it was me! Two guys in class decided to have a little arm-wrestling challenge. When it was over, someone asked the winner, so what do you get? He replied, as if it was obvious: "Oh! He lost so he has to kiss her." And his long, very long finger pointed right at me. My heart broke as I heard giggles echoing throughout the classroom. This was it. My life was over. Class went back to normal in few minutes but I was scarred for life. I hated the mirror and lost every kind confidence. Nothing mattered more than shedding that weight!

Three months. Fifteen kilograms. Crash diet (which obviously ruined my immune system but that's a different story). I had a whole new look and lots of attention. So, I should be happy right? Not so easy.

Basically the day the bet happened, the girl with low self-worth had checked into my head. She was The Fat Girl In My Head. She was defeating. Nauseating. Disturbing. I needed her out. I needed an inner transformation.

Weight loss did its part but these were the few things that changed my life:

1. I dressed the part. My body language was my perception of me. Even when I felt low in confidence, I stood tall and proud. With time it became natural and real.



2. I stopped venting, stopped worrying. Counting calories and getting on the weighing scale had become my favourite hobbies. I was slowly suffocating myself. Even others. I just became more aware of the moments when I was itching to do either and tried my best to shoo it away.



3. I made goals. Got a life. Over time my weight management had became my sole obsession. My only purpose in life was to look good. I forced myself to make other goals. And you know what, slowly I started to see the big picture.



4. I fixed my immunity. Trust me, the crash weight loss soon started causing symptoms and wasn't worth what I had to fix. It's a story I promise to tell at another time.



5. I celebrated moments with myself. I took my achievements seriously. Even if the world didn't think much of them. I acknowledged them and pampered myself. Mostly with a massage!



6. I was grateful for what I had. I wasn't a size zero but I was a size six with a brain. I was so blinded by the negatives that I couldn't see what people around me actually appreciated about me. I started to appreciate other qualities about myself.

Years later I bumped into one of those guys from the day of the bet in a social event. He didn't remember me but offered generous attention. After some small talk, I tried to remind him who I was. He completely denied it and said he wasn't someone who would ever have a bet of that sort. I just smiled. He asked me out and I declined.

Over years, with different situations in my life, even the relationship with The Fat Girl In My Head evolved. It's tough to pen down those situations right now as each was a beautiful story -- I'd love to share them soon.

If dots do connect, then I must say the bet was a blessing in disguise. It started a new journey and deepened my consciousness. I learned a new way of life, it made me the person I love and eventually also led to my calling -- as a health, wellness and life coach. My motto? Eat. Breathe. Smile.



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The NJAC Judgement--An Alternative View

October 18, 2015, 5:41 am

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The Supreme Court of India, by a majority opinion, has struck down the 99th Constitution Amendment, which provided for the establishment of the National Judicial Commission to appoint judges of the High Court and the Supreme Court. Having read the opinion of the five Hon'ble Judges, a few issues arise in my mind.

The key rationale behind the majority opinion appears to be that independence of judiciary is an essential ingredient of the basic structure of the Constitution. This is unquestionably a correct proposition. Having stated this, the majority transgresses into an erroneous logic. It argues that the presence of a Law Minister in the Commission and the appointment of two eminent persons in the Commission by a group, which will, besides Chief Justice of India, comprise of the Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition, will constitute political involvement in the judicial appointments. Judges appointed on this basis may feel gratified to the politicians. Political persons would be obviously guided by their political interest.

The Judges warn of "adverse" consequences if politicians were a part of the appointment process. Hence protection of the judiciary from political persons was essential. This is key reason on which constitution amendment, unanimously passed by both the Houses of Parliament and the State Legislature, has been struck down.

Politician bashing is the key to the judgement. One learned judge argues that Shri L.K. Advani has opined that dangers of an Emergency like situation are still there. Civil society in India is not strong and, therefore, you need an independent judiciary. Another argues that it may be possible that the present Government does not favour appointment of persons with alternative sexuality as Judges of the High Court and the Supreme Court. Politician bashing is akin to the 9.00 PM television programmes.

The judgement ignores the larger constitutional structure of India. Unquestionably independence of the judiciary is a part of the basic structure of the Constitution. It needs to be preserved. But the judgement ignores the fact that there are several other features of the Constitution which comprise the basic structure. The most important basic structure of the Indian Constitution is Parliamentary democracy. The next important basic structure of the Indian Constitution is an elected Government which represents the will of the sovereign.

The Prime Minister in Parliamentary democracy is the most important accountable institution. The Leader of the Opposition is an essential aspect of that basic structure representing the alternative voice in Parliament. The Law Minister represents a key basic structure of the Constitution; the Council of Ministers, which is accountable to Parliament. All these institutions, Parliamentary sovereignty, an elected Government, a Prime Minister, Leader of Opposition, Law Minister are a part of the Constitution's basic structure. They represent the will of the people. The majority opinion was understandably concerned with one basic structure - independence of judiciary - but to rubbish all other basic structures by referring to them as "politicians" and passing the judgement on a rationale that India's democracy has to be saved from its elected representatives. The judgement has upheld the primacy of one basic structure - independence of judiciary - but diminished five other basic structures of the Constitution, namely, Parliamentary democracy, an elected Government, the Council of Ministers, an elected Prime Minister and the elected Leader of the Opposition.

This is the fundamental error on which the majority has fallen. A constitutional court, while interpreting the Constitution, had to base the judgement on constitutional principles. There is no constitutional principle that democracy and its institutions has to be saved from elected representatives. The Indian democracy cannot be a tyranny of the unelected and if the elected are undermined, democracy itself would be in danger. Are not institutions like the Election Commission and the CAG not credible enough even though they are appointed by elected Governments?

As someone who has spent more years in court than in Parliament, I feel constrained to speak out for Indian democracy. There is no principle in democracy anywhere in the world that institutions of democracy are to be saved from the elected.

The illustrations given had to be on a sounder footing. If one leader feels that there are dangers of emergency, there is no presumption that only the Supreme Court can save it. When in the mid-Seventies the Emergency was proclaimed, it was people like me - the politicians, who fought out and went to prison. It was Supreme Court that caved in and, therefore, for the court to assume that it alone can defend the nation against Emergency, is belied by history. As for the cause of those representing alternative sexuality, the Delhi High Court had decriminalized it. I am a part of the present Government, but I had publically supported opinion of the Delhi High Court.

It was the Supreme Court which recriminalized alternative sexuality. The assumption that the cause of the practitioners of alternative sexuality to be appointed as judges, can only be protected by Supreme Court, is again belied by history. The Supreme Court opinion is final. It is not infallible.

The judgement interprets the provision of Article 124 and 217 of the Constitution. Article 124 deals with the appointment of Judges in the Supreme Court and Article 217 deals with the appointment of Judges of the High Court. Both provide for the appointment to be made by the President in consultation with the Chief Justice of India. The mandate of the Constitution was that Chief Justice of India is only a 'Consultee'. The President is the Appointing Authority. The basic principle of interpretation is that a law may be interpreted to give it an expanded meaning, but they cannot be rewritten to mean the very opposite. In the second Judge's case, the Court declared Chief Justice the Appointing Authority and the President a 'Consultee'. In the third Judge's case, the courts interpreted the Chief Justice to mean a Collegium of Judges. President's primacy was replaced with the Chief Justice's or the Collegium's primacy. In the fourth Judge's case (the present one) has now interpreted Article 124 and 217 to imply 'Exclusivity' of the Chief Justice in the matter of appointment excluding the role of the President almost entirely.

No principle of interpretation of law anywhere in the world, gives the judicial institutions the jurisdiction to interpret a constitutional provision to mean the opposite of what the Constituent Assembly had said. This is the second fundamental error in the judgement. The court can only interpret - it cannot be the third chamber of the legislature to rewrite a law.

Having struck down the 99th Constitutional Amendment, the Court decided to re-legislate. The court quashed the 99th Constitutional Amendment. The court is entitled to do so. While quashing the same, it re-legislated the repealed provisions of Article 124 and 217 which only the legislature can do. This is the third error in the judgement.

The fourth principle on which the judgement falls into an error is while stating that collegium system, which is a product of the judicial legislation, is defective. It fixed a hearing for its improvement. The court has again assumed the role of being the third chamber. If there is a problem with the procedure of judicial appointments, have those legislative changes to be evolved outside the legislature?

As someone who is equally concerned about the independence of judiciary and the sovereignty of India's Parliament, I believe that the two can and must co-exist. Independence of the judiciary is an important basic structure of the Constitution. To strengthen it, one does not have to weaken Parliamentary sovereignty which is not only an essential basic structure but is the soul of our democracy.

(The views expressed are personal)


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An Open Letter From An Aggrieved Bhains

October 18, 2015, 7:35 pm

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Dear gais and their children,

We've always known that the "steaks" are low for us when compared to our fair-skinned sister, the holy gai. For centuries we have been subjected to unfair treatment simply by virtue of our skin colour. Yet, nobody even bothered to ask us how it felt to be treated like, well, beefcake. Not a single feminist organisation came to our rescue or raised slogans on our behalf. If the cow is your maa, doesn't that make us your aunty? Is this how the world's greatest culture, which gave the world the Cowmasutra, treats its aunties?

Is being born dark such a great sin that you'll focus only on our inner boti and harbour unholy thoughts about us? We've suffered the indignities heaped on us with silence. We tolerated the blatant racism that even our shit is subjected to. Despite grazing at the same garbage bins and munching on the same plastic bags and bottles, cow dung is venerated and our shit gets equated to the bullshit your elected representatives try to pass off as wisdom!

"We dream of a day when our calves will walk the streets safe in the knowledge that if a man drools at them, a mob will collect and make mincemeat of him."

Things have come to such a pass that even the lowly goat has started getting more respect than us. The Bhainsbehens association of India (BHAI) was far from amused when Union Minister Giriraj Singh equated goats and cows to the ma-behens of Indian mankind. In fact, a few of our behens are feeling suicidal and considering storing mutton dressed as beef in their refrigerator.

What about us? Do we mean nothing to you? Does your heart not tremble when you don't lynch men for daring to treat us as their lunch?

Dear children of cows, you are committing a grave mistake by pitting BHAI against GAI. We will no longer take it lying down. We shall rise on all fours and like Arvind Grazeliwal start a raita phelao andolan.

I don't mean to brag. Rahul Gandhi has shown keen interest in having fodder with us. He's also masticating on the possibility of empowering our lot. It is learnt from reliable sources that he's arranging Jupiter's escape velocity for our upliftment.

Asha Bhainsle, spokesperson of BHAI has been contacted by none other than Arnab Gaiswami to appear on his show to debate titled "Is Bhains The General Category Of The Animal Caste System --The Nation Wants To Know!" Or worse, are we the weaker sex?

We surely feel like it. Ignored and left to our own devices, feted by none with reservations for cushy jobs and seats in IITs and medical colleges. If you can't save us, education and sarkari jobs will. For long we have trodden the less grazed path. We are tired of being seen but not herd!

How long will we carry pepper spray, dress in sacks and learn karate to protect ourselves from lecherous tongues? We dream of a day when you'll sip our urine and be cured of bigotry and hate. We dream of a day when our calves will walk the streets with their tail held high, safe in the knowledge that if a man drools at them, a mob will collect and make mincemeat of him.

Why should gais have all the fun?

So, if you've drunk bhains ka doodh, don't build sheds for us and let us feed on your garbage. Don't fight poverty, prejudice, people who manipulate your hate to suit their divisive propaganda. Show your love by butchering those who butcher us.

Waiting earnestly,

With sisterly (if not motherly) love,

An optimistic bhains


A version of this post was published on www.purba-ray.com



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Why I Love Durga Puja Even Though I'm Not Bengali

October 18, 2015, 7:36 pm

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Come October and there'd be nine days of festivities and six holidays to look forward to. I would be crazy if that wasn't a reason good enough for me to rejoice during my schooldays! Growing up in the northern plains of Allahabad and with almost zero connection with Bengali tradition, the most enchanting part of the Durga Puja holidays was the free time (which usually came after harrowing half-yearly examinations) and making the most of it.

While some non-Bengali parents planned foreign vacations during this time of year, my parents wisely made it a point to make us experience every bit of the festival, year after year, in a manner no less than a Bengali would. My allegiance to the festival thus started.

"[D]espite each venue brimming with high-spirited people, there was always a sense of respect and discipline."

My memories of Pujo are still crystal clear. Almost every other clearing in our small city was taken over by a colourful pandal; I was told that each one of these was endorsed by a core committee of Bengalis who worked for months to make the pandal as impressive as possible. They used breathtaking creativity to embellish these sites with vivid architectural and artistic details and scheduled - for all nine days -- fun-filled programmes comprising contests, quizzes, Rabindra sangeet and talent shows. Any flagging spirits were revived by the drive to win the "Best Pandal" trophy.

While some pandals were aesthetically crafted with customary Bengal motifs and designs, many were innovatively inspired from current happenings around the world. It wasn't surprising for me to note new themes almost every year - for example, one pandal had a tribal welfare theme in which Devi Durga wore the Garo mini skirt, another raised awareness about the environment, dressing the goddess in leaves and shoots. One pandal displayed life-size cut-outs of freedom fighters and another paid homage to Bollywood with Shah Rukh Khan and Aishwarya Rai posters all over the marquee.

As night fell, the Puja pandal became a cultural hotspot. Full of energy, high-end fashion, food fiestas, music, late-night fun and gossip sessions, the nights in our otherwise quiet city came to life. Yet, despite each venue brimming with high-spirited people, there was always a sense of respect and discipline. There was hardly ever any pushing or manhandling as devotees tried to catch a glimpse of Maa Durga's protima.

From my back-to-back visits to Durga Puja functions, I have come to deduce that food is central to a Bengali as much as dressing well is. Visiting a Puja venue and coming back without having indulged in some paani puri or jhaal-muri or Indo-Chinese chowmein from the street vendors queuing the roadside, meant an insult to the Bengali tradition of "must-have reech phood!" Whenever I bumped into a Bengali friend who would have made her temporary home for six days in one of these pandals, the first question she'd ask was whether I had tried the famous phish chop, roshogulla and bhishon bhalo coffee in one of the stalls.

Then there were the beautiful girls and women. They chatted and gossiped about all matters sartorial as they stood resplendent in their precisely draped saris, perfect make-up, large kohl-lined eyes, big bindis and enviable jewellery. Yet, the most outstanding aspect of their look would be their spark of grace, punctuated with spasms of boisterous laughter. Bengali women may not be the most beautiful on earth but they are certainly endowed with hypnotic looks that reach their peak in the Puja period, aided no doubt by a month-long shopping spree for themselves and their family.

Though the occasion was religious, the Puja pandals offered the best meeting places for would-be couples and dating pairs, sometimes even sparking matrimonial connections. It's not that surprising, of course - how could boys and girls getting together in their best finery for nine days and nine nights focus only on devotion?

On the sixth day of the festival, when the public would see Goddess Durga unveiled the first time, a strange excitement took over. Suddenly the frivolous fun and merry-making changed to a deeply devout and gratifying experience. My favourite part of the Puja was always eating bhog served at noon and watching the dhakis beat their drums and do dhunuchhir naach with torch lit with a fragrant dhun that surrounded us all by a mystical aroma. The rhythmic beating that gradually rose to a high crescendo filled me with immense powerfulness, bountiful love and ecstasy. Six days slipped like sand from the hand as if we lost touch with time, immersing ourselves in joyful days, wishing they never ended.

Alas! Amidst pompous fanfare and women playing sindoor, suddenly came Doshomi, the time to let the goddess go. When I sat on the ghats of the Ganga watching the last rites of Visarjan, my attention stopped at the beautifully sculpted face of Goddess Durga. How behind the drums beaten by dhakis, her beautiful big eyes, wavy black hair and curved lips gradually sank under water to melt into a muddy mesh, leaving behind a sombre crowd of devotees. There on the banks of the Ganga were hundreds of teary-eyed worshippers half drenched in the holy mud, bonding with each other through strings of rich cultural unity, hardly caring who was a Bengali or non-Bengali!



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Chai Pe Charcha To Gai Pe Charcha: Can Modi Stop The Degeneration Of Indian Politics?

October 18, 2015, 7:36 pm

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One of the reasons for Narendra Modi's phenomenal success in last year's general elections, apart from his impressive track record as Gujarat CM and visionary leadership, was his introduction of several game-changing in the run up to the elections. One such initiative was "chai pe charcha," which caught the imagination of the people of India and became symbolic because of Modi's humble beginnings as a tea vendor. Through this programme he connected with voters, conveying the message that he was one of them and would work for them.

After becoming Prime Minister, Modi initiated several promising programmes that have already achieved a measure of success, including Jan Dhan Yojana, Swachh Bharat Abhiyan and Make in India. He has also trained his focus on infrastructural development and foreign investment in India, visiting many world leaders to build existing relations and to sell the dream of India as an investment destination. Under his leadership, the decades-old border dispute with Bangladesh was settled and India's ties with all its neighbours, barring Pakistan, have improved.

Yet, lately, some MPs and ministers in Modi's cabinet appear to be working at cross purposes. They are slowly undoing all the good work done by Modi, with some leaders sullying the image of India by their intemperate comments on a variety of issues. Most recently, their comments on "cow slaughter" have become the focus of controversy. While the Culture Minister termed the shocking Dadri lynching as an "unfortunate accident" and another local leader called the killers "innocent children". All they have succeeded in doing with such comments is making the minorities more insecure. The rest of us are left wondering why Modi isn't taking action against them, or even speculating whether this is part of a larger conspiracy to keep Modi under check.

The murder of Mohammad Akhlaq was a consequence of a baseless rumour, purportedly spread by a fringe group, that he and his family had consumed beef. This was enough to enrage some Hindus living in the area. The tragedy that followed and the resultant political storm are well documented - one Samajwadi Party leader even threatened to take the issue to the United Nations, a bizarre proposal that was condemned across the political spectrum.

The killing of Akhlaq is not a one-off incident, but appears to be part of a larger conspiracy to intimidate people who don't subscribe to a particular ideology. In fact, when Akhlaq saw the mob approaching, the first person he called was his Hindu friend. In one stroke, the generations old peaceful coexistence between the two communities was destroyed in Dadri.

The "ban on beef" (which, incidentally, does not apply in UP) is an encroachment on the fundamental right of people to eat whatever they want to. Surely, we have far more important issues to grapple with than what is on the menu. Member of Parliament Shashi Tharoor, in an interview given to India Today, warns of a growing "reflexive desire to ban one thing or another in India." He explains that the issue is not about the content of the bans as much as it is about people's freedom.

Although India has witnessed several communal incidents since Independence, there has rarely been such a large public outcry as against the killing of Akhlaq. The backlash has been so severe that 26 writers have returned their Sahitya Akademi awards to protest what they call the country's "rising intolerance." Poet Ashok Vajpeyi feels that Hindu nationalists are using "bans, suspicion and hurt feelings" to stoke religious bigotry in the name of "tradition."

In an interview given to a TV channel, the Booker Prize winning author, Salman Rushdie questioned the Prime Minister Narendra Modi's "silence" on the issue while coming out strongly against "thuggish violence" and dismissing criticism by "Modi toadies", saying he supported no political party.

Modi's so-called silence, however, has been exaggerated. In an election rally in Bihar, the Prime Minister did appeal to members of both the communities to live in harmony and unite to fight poverty. He later referred to the Dadri lynching as "really sad", but the fact that he said so 10 days after the incident worked against him. The social media savvy leader also fell short of condemning the perpetrators. If Modi had been more vocal in condemning the Dadri killing, he would have reached out to the minorities, assuring them that Dadri was an aberration and they could live without fear in this great country.



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Toilets, Toilets Everywhere: Plumbing The Depths Of India's School Sanitation Puzzle

October 18, 2015, 7:36 pm

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Some years ago, on an extremely hot day in June, I stepped into a middle school in Ratlam district, Madhya Pradesh. While almost every classroom was open, the toilet had a shiny lock dangling from the door. One teacher stammered out a reason: villagers often ended up using it if it was open and the lock ensured exclusive use by students. A child who wanted to use it had to take the key from a teacher and after using the facility, return it. However, this was not the whole story. The school did not have a dedicated toilet for teachers. Left with no option, they were using the students' toilet, and in the process made the facility exclusively theirs. As one local opined, this was expected from non-tribal teaching staff. Sharing toilets with local tribal children was anathema to their caste privileges. However, since the local population had little regard for using toilets, everyone was happy with this arrangement.

"The air is thick with evidence of data fudging, botched construction and ghost toilets."

Fast-forward to 2015, and toilets in schools are being dished out like paani puris at a busy market on a Sunday evening. Analysis of Swachh Vidyalaya campaign data reveals that in the 15 days between 27 July and 11 August, 2015, approximately 89,000 school toilets were constructed. Expectedly, the government has engaged in arthritis-inducing backslapping at having constructed 5933 school toilets per day. And predictably researchers and sanitation professionals are viewing these numbers with suspicion. The air is thick with evidence of data fudging, botched construction and ghost toilets. Unsurprisingly, all these have always been the bane of Government sanitation programmes. In 2012, Jairam Ramesh, former Minister of Drinking Water and Sanitation, had made an embarrassing admission to the Rajya Sabha during question hour. He said that states were deliberately fudging data on toilet construction to get Central Government funds released.

The problem of data discrepancy between state and Centre, and between different departments is a perennial issue. What matters is that children and especially girls do stay back in schools if there are usable toilets. But who is responsible for their usability through maintenance? A careful reading of the well-crafted Clean India: Clean Schools: A Handbook by Ministry of Human Resource Development gives us the much sought-after answer. It is mostly going to be the School Management Committees or SMCs.

"Toilets are just one piece of the school sanitation puzzle. The missing ones include transparent monitoring and capacitating SMCs [School Management Committees]."

An SMC consists of teachers, parents/guardians and community members. In the Ratlam middle school I started this article with, this committee would involve the teachers who locked toilets for their own use and uninterested members of the local community. Essentially the government now requires management of toilets to be handed over to approximately 1.2 million SMCs, many of whose presence and functionality is questionable. The SMCs are all required to prepare a three-year School Development Plan (SDP) and monitor its implementation. As per the PAISA 2014 survey of 15,206 schools, 39% did not have an SDP in place. By this sudden "build and transfer" mode of toilet construction, maintenance will be now shifted to a group, whose authority, capacities and immediate realities of gender, caste and culture are all a matter of concern. Low on resources and with little external monitoring, schools have resorted to all kinds of quick fixes to manage toilets. Worst of which is to make Dalit students clean them. The MHRD itself agrees in its Swachh Vidyalaya handbook that weak management contributes to unusable toilets. Somehow, in the debate on numbers, the fact that 418,000 toilets will now need to be brought under SDPs and then managed accordingly by SMCs has gone unnoticed. Rushed infrastructure doesn't go well with weak management systems. The Suvarna Jala programme in Karnataka proved this without doubt. Launched in 2007 under the erstwhile Bharat Nirman programme by the Government of Karnataka, this scheme tried to provide rooftop rainwater harvesting systems to 20,760 schools for increasing their drinking water security. Barely 10% or even less remain functional as of today.

"Opening up the Swachh Vidyalaya Abhiyan to honest feedback will encourage improvement. But if we bind programmes to hype, we will blind ourselves to their failures."

Success lies in monitoring, and doing that for 1.2 million schools proves harder in an opaque system. The Ministry of Human Resource Development itself accounts for its own progress. There is absolutely no space for independent scanning or monitoring. It would have been nice if details and photographs of 4.18 lakh toilets constructed in one year could be put up for public scrutiny. In today's digital India there is enough talent and examples that show this is possible. The Karnataka Learning Partnership is an exceptionally well-designed platform that analyses individual and aggregate school data, maps them and allows citizens to provide feedback from their school visits. Or take video volunteers for that matter. By encouraging volunteers in remote areas to make short videos on service delivery issues, it has set up an excellent example of citizen reporting. Opening up the Swachh Vidyalaya Abhiyan to honest feedback will encourage improvement. But if we bind programmes to hype, we will blind ourselves to their failures.

Toilets are just one piece of the school sanitation puzzle. The missing ones include transparent monitoring and capacitating SMCs. There is evidence that well functioning SMCs can improve school retention significantly. Hence getting these missing pieces in place is critical. It may seem too much. But in a country where we can construct 46 household toilets per minute and 5933 school toilets per day, this should be child's play.



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Why The World Must Unite To Demand The Release Of Journalist Jason Rezaian

October 18, 2015, 7:36 pm

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I add my voice to the many journalists, activists and concerned citizens in condemning the conviction of Washington Post reporter Jason Rezaian in Iran on charges that include espionage.

The United States government has also formally protested about the sham trial that was conducted in secrecy and the equally sham verdict that the world was made aware of by an announcement on Iranian television. It is an unconscionable crime and a mockery of international laws to hold a fake trial behind closed doors and I believe that Iran should rectify this injustice immediately.

The back story on Rezaian: The Washington Post, a passionate champion for their employee reported that on 22 July, 2014, the Iranian law enforcement broke into Rezaian's home and arrested him and his wife Yeganeh Salehi, who is also a journalist.


"As a journalist, I am outraged at Rezaian's imprisonment and I urge everyone to speak out as one voice in demanding his release."

Taken to Iran's infamously brutal prison, Evin, Rezaian was sent to solitary confinement for months. Law enforcement has never explained to either Rezaian's employer or family why they did what they did.

Salehi, an Iranian citizen, was released on bail last autumn, but Rezaian, who holds both Iranian and American citizenships, has been languishing in the notorious prison for 14 months now. Iran dragged out its quest for justice, taking 10 months before starting the trial and taking another two to hand down the verdict.

The court has not said what the sentence is but Rezaian could be looking at anywhere from 10 to 20 years.

In a recent statement, Martin Baron, the executive editor of the Washington Post called verdict "contemptible," adding, "Jason is a victim -- arrested without cause, held for months in isolation, without access to a lawyer, subjected to physical mistreatment and psychological abuse and now convicted without basis."


When I called a few journalists in the Washington Post newsroom, they described feeling depressed and saddened at their colleague's plight. They all wear a "Free Jason" badge every day and promise to do so until he comes home.

They did not go on record as all official comments are made by Baron, but here are some of the facts they pointed out: Rezaian has spent more than three times as long in jail than any other Western journalist. He has also been in prison longer than the 52 Americans held in the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis which damaged the relationship between the countries forever.

Political watchers say that Iran is using Rezaian as a bargaining chip. The State Department has tried and failed to secure his release during negotiations that led to the nuclear deal. (Ironically, this is a deal that they hoped would bring Iran out of isolation and help avoid situations like Rezaian's.)

There has been a ray of light: Iran has recently floated the idea of a prisoner swap. There are two Iranian-American in US prisons and they are being held for violating sanctions.

Apart from the politics, the emotional and psychological toll on the Rezaian family has been intense. Rezaian's mother Mary and his wife Yeganeh have been able to see Jason in prison weekly and they report that he is depressed. One of Rezaian's biggest defenders is his brother Ali who has emerged as the family's spokesperson and the driving force behind the #FreeJasonCampaign and he started a petition to free Jason, which hundreds of thousands have signed worldwide.

Ali has put his own life on hold and at last count has logged 150,000 miles between the United States and Iran. Some of these meetings have been with government officials and liaisons and most have been completely useless.

He says his brother is innocent and that his detention is "unjust, cruel and inhumane." He has urged the United States to secure his release immediately.

As a journalist, I am outraged at Rezaian's imprisonment and I urge everyone to speak out as one voice in demanding his release.

Citizens and activists, please sign this petition. Journalists, please write more stories on Rezaian. Others please share this on social media.

Let's bring Jason home safe where he belongs. Soon.



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12 Chittaranjan Park Eateries To Try This Durga Puja

October 18, 2015, 7:37 pm

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With Durga Puja kicking off, there is no better time to visit this mini-Kolkata of South Delhi, where you can pay homage to the goddess as well as to Bengali cuisine. And if you think that all you'll find are sandesh and fish dishes, you are very mistaken. Delhi Food Walks decided to take a little trip down the gallis of Chittaranjan Park (named after the patriot or deshbandhu Chittaranjan Das) to bust this myth and to guide you to the best places for delicious Bengali specialities. Most eateries in Market 1 are located in a single file; you can stop and sample as you walk down the lane and breathe in tantalising whiffs of mustard and fish.

Nearest metro station:Nehru Place from the Violet line and then auto ride to Market 2.

When to visit: After 6pm, for an evening of merriment!



Raju Puchka Wala

Location: Near Canara Bank, Market 1

We started off with puchkas (the Bengali iteration of golgappas) sold by Raju who hails from Bihar's Kishanganj district. For the last 20 years, Raju has been delighting customers with fried wheat puchkas filled with a spicy mixture of jeera, coriander, black pepper, green chillies, potatoes and black chana (most golgappas in Delhi are filled with saunth and made of suji rather than wheat). He also sells a Bengali variant of the ubiquitous aloo chaat - aloo kabli is made of boiled potatoes, tamarind water, chickpeas, green chillies, onions, masala, and salt. Chaat lovers should also try the churmur, which is rather like a hybrid of puchkas and aloo kabli. It's a tangy, crunchy and sweet concoction featuring chickpeas, tamarind water, boiled potatoes, crushed puchkas, green chillies, cilantro and black chana.



Ghughnee Wala

Location: Opposite Kolkata Biryani House, Market 1

At Shyamal Barua's stall, the signboard advertises both momos and ghughnee, but it's the latter that you're really here for. Mr Barua proudly exclaims that his mother is the master chef behind the finger-licking ghughnee which he has been serving since 2003. An extremely popular snack in Bengal and in parts of Bihar and Orissa, ghughnee is a curry made of chickpeas (motor in Bengali) that are soaked in water overnight. There's a veg version as well as one with minced mutton.



Kolkata Hot Kathi Roll

Location: Shop No 8, Market 1

We can forgive the owners for misspelling "kati rolls" as "kathi rolls", a mistake made by most people outside of Kolkata where the dish originated at Nizam Restaurant; the word kati means skewers in Bengali and was applied to kebabs and then to kebabs wrapped in paranthas. You'll find a wide range of mutton, chicken and paneer rolls here, but it also serves up prawn cutlets, veg chops, Mughlai paranthas, barbecued meats, shawarma and even a small selection of Chinese dishes among a host of other preparations. Don't get too distracted, though - the rolls are what stand out, livened up by different sauces, including the mustard-and-raw-mango kashundi, a secret masala and chopped onions. Perfect.



Roll 'N' Roast

Location: Shop No 7, Market 1

This place is right next to Kolkata Hot Kathi Roll and provides head to head competition to its neighbour, serving many of the same dishes. Their menu claims "Delicious Start Right Here" and they aren't far off the mark. They are famous for their Chinese specialities (let's not forget that Kolkata is considered to be the birthplace of Indian-Chinese cuisine) as well as their chops and kobirajicutlets. We highly recommend the Chinese chat which comes with a variety of toppings and a choice of either noodles or rice. For just Rs 200, a non-veg platter will allow you to sample Schezwan chicken (our fave), lemon chicken, chilly chicken, garlic chicken, chicken wings, chicken Manchurian and sweet 'n' sour chicken. The veg platter, on the other hand, costs Rs 120 and includes veg Manchurian, chilli paneer, crispy chilli potato, crispy honey potato, and mix veg salt 'n' pepper.



Mad About Momos

Location: Near Evergreen Properties, Market 1

You'll be spoiled for choice with the myriad types of momos served here -- chicken, veg, paneer, soya, steamed, fried or tandoori. The beautiful little stall is made from bamboo sticks and also uses a traditional bamboo basket for steaming the momos - not a common sight in Delhi. It also differs from most other purveyors of momos in the city in that the dumplings are made of whole-wheat rather than white flour. Besides, have you ever seen momos shaped like a fish or a samosa? The fresh, hot momos are served with mayonnaise and a drool-worthy sauce made from butter, sugar, red chillies, tomatoes and onions. There are three other branches of Mad About Momos in Amar Colony, Central Market and Pocket 8 Vasant Kunj.



A N R Chakraburti's Pakora Stall

Location: Near Kendra Bhandar, Market 1

The shop traces its origin to 1971, the time when Chittaranjan Park was just a piece of land allotted to displaced people from East Pakistan. For lunch, they serve rice served with either egg (Rs 40) or fish (Rs 60).

Their aloo chop (pronounced alloor chop in Bangla), bread pakoras, beguni , chop pakora, mirchi pakora and onion pakora make for perfect evening telebhajas (fried snacks), best enjoyed with a cup of hot tea.



Kamala Sweet Shop

Location: K-1/101, Market 1

Prabir Kumar Mukherji, the proud owner of Kamla Sweets, has been successfully operating for past 30 years. Here you can sample the quintessential misti doi (sweetened curd), available in traditional mud pots of different sizes (100gm to 1kg), as well as Bengal's most famous dessert, sandesh (the "a" is pronounced as "o") in different shapes, sizes and colours. Their conch- and fish-shaped sandesh are masterpieces and the steamed version (bhapa sandesh) guarantees love at first bite to the sweet-toothed. Other specialities on the menu include chum chum, dudh pulisita bhog, chandrapuli, rosogolla, bundi laddoo and lobongo lotika. You can also try chhena poda (Rs 500 for a kg), a caramelised cheese sweet that actually originated in Orissa. I you visit around breakfast you can also try savouries like khasta kachori, matar kachori and radhaballabhi (urad daal stuffed in a puri); they also make beetroot chops, a rare delicacy in this part of the country.



Vivek Tea Stall

Location: Behind Mother Dairy, Market 1

Don't be deceived by the name. This game-changer of a stall not only serves tea or "cha" but also cold coffee with ice-cream and dry fruits, hot coffee (pick from Nescafe, Bru and Davidoff), hot chocolate Bournvita and a variety of teas -- lemon, tulsi (green), Arabian, jasmine, among others.

The best part about this 'cha' stall is that you can have your tea customised to your taste. His lemon cha was the highlight for us - it contains a flavourful medley of amla, black salt, black pepper, jeera syrup and Hajmola that will cause an explosion of flavours in your mouth.



Vikas Bishwas -- Jhaal Muri Waala

Location: Market 2

His fame speaks for itself as crowds throng his stall. With a genial smile on his face he tells us that he been known as the jhaal muri wala of CR park for the past 12 years. Hailing from Krishnanagar in Kolkata, Vikas started off as a shopkeeper at Annapurna Sweets, but now specialises in all things tangy and spicy. He reels off his specialities in a breathless monotone: ghugni, ankur chaat, aloo kabli, bhel puri and, of course, jhaal muri which he sells for Rs 20 only. Do try his mouthwatering mutton ghugni - a hot chickpea curry with minced mutton served with a garnish of onion, tomato and cucumber.



Annapurna Sweet House

Location: Shop No 38, Market 2

A former accountant at Shaw Wallace, Mr Benoy Majumdar, has been running this place since 1984. Their star dishes include chhena jalebi (a jalebi made of cottage cheese instead of flour and with a taste quite similar to a gulab jamun; Rs 140/kg); the enticing jal bhara sandesh (a sandesh with a liquid centre); kheer puli (a doughy sweet dish made predominantly of kheer that melts in your mouth like a soufflé; Rs160/kg).
They also serve every Bengali's favourite breakfast dish - radhaballabhi, a puri stuffed with dal and veggies.
Want further proof of their popularity? They often stay open well past the closing time of 10pm because the orders just don't stop coming.



Dadu Cutlet Shop

Location: Shop No 9, Market 2

Opened by Narender Mistri, affectionately called Dadu, in 1992, the shop is now managed by his son Shyam Mistri. Their fried bhetki fish is fried to crisp perfection (the audible crunch as bite in is evidence) and their famous egg devil chop is sin on a plate: hardboiled egg filled with cooked egg yolk and potato all wrapped up in crispy bread crumbs. The Mughlai paranthas are yummy too, and their samosas (called singharas) contain a unique filling dominated by coconut and chickpeas.



Maa Tara Restaurant

Location: Shop No 45, 46, 47, Market 2

Located in the back alley of the market, this small restaurant specialises in authentic Bengali cuisine. Subhrojit, the son of the owners -- Manju and SR Dutta, who are originally from Kolkata -- proudly narrates the story of how his parents set up the restaurant about 19 years ago. The Maa Tara Special Thali consists of an assortment of dishes, out of which the mutton kasha shines out. Paired with luchi (puffy flour bread), the tender meat with just the right balance of spices will leave you asking for more. The mustard fish curry stands out too. Fish lovers can choose from pomfret, ilish, chitol, rehu and more -- all for under Rs 400. Vegetarians must try the postor bada - a pakora with poppy seeds.

Image Courtesy: Mehak Dhawan and Sabhyata Badhwar



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Survey: What Do You Think About Sex Education?

October 19, 2015, 7:47 pm

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This article is from The Swaddle.



In June, The Swaddle held a panel discussion on sex education in India. Ever since, we've wondered -- what do parents really think about sex education? What are we really telling our kids?

We've put together a short, completely anonymous, survey below to find out. Please take it and share with the other parents you know. (The more people who take it, the clearer our picture will be.) We'll report the findings (statistics only, we don't even ask your name!) in an upcoming article here and on The Swaddle, so stay tuned.

We promise it won't take more than six minutes.

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'Bridge of Spies': A Meticulously Made Spy Thriller Inspired By True Events

October 19, 2015, 7:47 pm

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Bridge of Spies, the latest offering from the celebrated American filmmaker Steven Speilberg, presents the story (inspired by true events) of one James B. Donovan--an American lawyer who is commissioned by the CIA to rescue a US spy pilot, Francis Gary Powers, detained in the Soviet Union during the Cold War. Donovan must travel behind the iron curtain to East Germany and negotiate the terms of Powers' release with both the KGB and the Stasi. Written for the screen by Matt Charman, in collaboration with the Coen brothers, Bridge of Spies stars Tom Hanks (as Donovan), Mark Rylance, and Amy Ryan in the major roles.

"Bridge of Spies is unlike anything Spielberg has done in the recent years."

Made in the vein of old-fashioned espionage thrillers made famous by the renowned British author John le Carré, Bridge of Spies is a kind of film that one generally doesn't associate with Steven Spielberg who is ubiquitously renowned for his dazzling style of filmmaking that relies heavily on the use of CGI and VFX. But he has this knack of coming up with films which are devoid of the typical Spielbergian elements. Sometimes the surprise is pleasant and sometimes not so. Bridge of Spies is unlike anything Spielberg has done in the recent years. In today's age when we are so used to watching spy films that are replete with nonsensical action, forced gimmicks, fake gadgets, and flashy special effects, a piece of story-driven cinema like Bridge of Spies comes as a welcome surprise.

While Spielberg may still be waiting for the elusive opportunity to direct his first James Bond movie, here he demonstrates how capable he is of cooking up a le Carré-esque espionage thriller that revolves around office intrigue and old-school counter-intelligence but lacks the charm, romanticism and heroics that underline Ian Fleming's spy fiction. Bridge of Spies is largely plot driven with reasonable scope for character development. Here Spielberg doesn't go for those big dramatic moments that his films are known for but he handles the smaller ones with aplomb. There isn't an iota of sex and the little action that is on display only adds to the movie's realism. The East Germany scenes are beautifully crafted and succeed in capturing the unsettling tension and paranoia prevalent at the height of the Cold War. It can be attributed, among other things, to Janusz Kamiński's mesmerizing cinematography and Michael Kahn's top notch editing.

"Although, there is never a dull moment in the movie, it demands patience from its viewers."

Overall, Bridge of Spies is a meticulously made spy thriller that takes us back in time to one of the darkest phases in modern history. The movie unites the actor-director duo of Hanks and Spielberg after a gap of 10 years. And it's so heartening to once again see the both of them at the top of their games. Bridge of Spies may not be their best work till date but it's nonetheless quite solid. While Spielberg puts up a strong show on the filmmaking front, Hanks' convincing performance adds a lot of value to the film. As a matter of fact, just to watch Hanks go about his usual business in front of a motion-picture camera is a treat in itself. Hanks' character is not an intelligence officer like George Smiley but is a lawyer who specializes in insurance and understands well that often the art of salesmanship is all about bluffing. Hanks is well supported by the rest of the cast which is led by the noted thespian Mark Rylance who is superb in the role of a KGB spy. Although, there is never a dull moment in the movie, it demands patience from its viewers. Bridge of Spies is a must watch for viewers who enjoy watching old-fashioned spy thrillers, but those who lack patience are advised to approach it with caution.

A version of this review was first published at A Potpourri of Vestiges.



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How Islamic Is Pakistan Anyway?

October 19, 2015, 7:47 pm

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The answer is, it depends.

It depends on when you run into the average Pakistani male. Pakistan is "I-don't-care" Islamic when he is drooling over Katrina Kaif's "assets" at the movies. Conversely, Pakistan is full-on Islamic when the same gent is at Friday prayers, nodding solemnly in agreement with the imam spewing religious hate speech.

This brings me to the reason for my rant: Pakistan's newfound "liberal conscience." Steered by the many "brave" columnists of the English-language dailies, theirs is a revolution bent on destroying Pakistan's "Islamist" status quo. Since I am a card-carrying coward, I will stick to mundane facts.

"It completely eludes these braves that religion has been a social and political tool for rich humans to manipulate poor humans since time immemorial."

Women get treated as inferiors in Pakistan, blame Islam. The economy has gone down the gutter, blame Islam. The politicians are all crooked and in bed with the Taliban, it must have something to do with the long-dead Gen.Zia-ul-Haq! It completely eludes these braves that religion has been a social and political tool for rich humans to manipulate poor humans since time immemorial. The wider the class divide in any society, the better this tool works.

Somehow, these writers also believe that underneath the Islamic straightjacket is a Pakistani soul made of pure white light. Stupidity, hence, is not innate, but remote controlled from Riyadh. This is a dangerous narrative because it dumps all of society's failings onto an invisible bogey instead of individuals owning up to their actions.

Still, how do you measure the Islamic quotient in Pakistan? Most obviously through electoral results, especially after 9-11 when "Great Satan" America, to quote the ayatollahs, invaded Muslim lands. Historically, Pakistan's Islamist political parties, led by the Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam (JUI) and the Jamaat-e-Islami (JI), have polled poorly, usually finishing with less than 5% of the popular vote.

The only exception was the Muttahida Majlis-e-Amal (MMA) coalition in 2002 that pulled in 11% of that year's tally, which is still well below respectable. I think we can safely surmise that the vast majority of Pakistanis, barring pockets in Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa (KP) and Balochistan provinces, have no interest in Sharia rule.

There is, of course, more damning evidence of Pakistan's Islamization in the country's penal code. Gen.Zia's Hudood Ordinances and his revision of the British Raj's blasphemy laws are, for sure, draconian to the point of being corrosive. Two diktats herein that get Pakistan the most grief internationally relate to sexual offenses and blaspheming the Prophet Muhammed. The punishment for both crimes can be life imprisonment or death.

"Gen.Zia's Hudood Ordinances and his revision of the British Raj's blasphemy laws are, for sure, draconian to the point of being corrosive."

That said, there are loopholes that make it easy for rapists to get away scot-free and any mob to lynch non-Muslims with impunity. Unsurprisingly, these often serve to settle personal scores in rural Pakistan. The most remarkable thing about both laws is their longevity. Five years of the secular, female Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto and seven years of the "enlightened moderate" Gen. Pervez Musharraf were somehow not sufficient to get them scrapped.

How well are they applied, though? Poorly and by a process I call "selective piety." For starters, the red light area boom in Pakistan makes a mockery of the Hudood Ordinances. Prostitution dens do roaring business in Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad under the patronage of local police and politicians. Ironically, the most famous of these locales, "Heera Mandi," sits right next door to the iconic Badshahi Mosque in Lahore.

The application of blasphemy laws is similarly nebulous. In theory, they apply to everyone, but not really, even if the offense plays out on TV. Pakistan's former Interior Minister Rehman Malik proved this in 2010 while chairing a cabinet meeting. After repeatedly fumbling through the most basic of Quranic verses, Malik and company burst into laughter and made a joke of something that could land a non-Muslim in jail.

Furthermore, talking up domestic militancy to confirm Pakistan's Islamization is misleading. Any number of active radical groups, be they the Taliban or Lashkar-e-Taiba (LeT), are, or were, strategic tools of the "deep state" created to forward its geopolitical agenda. Sure, some have chewed through the leash and gone rogue, but that was a known risk from day one.

This is not to say that nut-jobs are extinct here. Mumtaz Qadri, the security guard who shot former Punjab governor Salman Taseer in 2011 for questioning the blasphemy laws, is positively certifiable. So are the loons who showered him with rose petals on his way to court and the inevitable death sentence.

Nevertheless, a few thousand radicals are inevitable in a country of over 180 million people, especially one carved out in the name of Islam. Making these far-right ideologues synonymous with Pakistan, however, is the same as considering the Shiv Sena representative of India, or the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) as the literal Voice of America. Pakistani society, as a whole, is cosmetically Islamic and nothing more.



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Dating in The Gay World: The Socialite

October 19, 2015, 7:48 pm

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We are outside a dingy watering hole somewhere in town, Six and I. We bond over Instagram pictures and I simper over his Bengali ancestry and his upcoming PhD in something I don't remember. He looks around and tells me he's never been to a place like this. I think of saying something clichéd, like 'There's-a-first-time-for-everything', but I don't want to sound clichéd.
'Well, there's a first time for everything.' I usher him inside.
At least I can say that I tried.

He peers around the dirtied hallways of the bar. We duck under the awning and walk through a back door towards our booth. The air is heavy with the smell of cheap hair oil, cigarette smoke and used urinal cakes. But my date is clearly intrigued. The waiter walks over with a photocopied menu card, laminated and stained with yesterday's chilly chicken.

"It's the end of the month, and my money reserves are lower than my morals."

The boy's eyes open wider than our melamine dinner plates. He inspects the menu with great interest - he thinks it's kitsch, I think it's the cheapest date money can buy. It's the end of the month, and my money reserves are lower than my morals.

We place our orders, equal measures of rum and coke, and their chicken Malai rolls - the bar's best, imported from the Afghan eatery next door. We silently agree that the chilly chicken can be avoided. I attempt small talk till our drinks arrive, it's too dark to discuss our Instagram feeds, and I've already asked him everything there is to ask about the PhD that I no longer remember anything about. Is this going anywhere?

Fifteen minutes later, our first round of drinks are down and we are best friends. He talks fondly of a rich aunt involved in a famous property dispute, and mentions lessons at the golf course post lunch at the club, as I sip my rum in wide-eyed wonder. Just recently he was at a friend's gallery opening, and he got an offer to work as an advisor on the Prime Minister's socio-economic committee - the stories seem larger-than-life for the little tavern, and I can feel our booth bursting at its seams.

With all these art do's, luncheons and consulate meetings, how does he get time to unwind?
He laughs like they do on television. There's no scattering applause or canned laughter. Why don't you have another one, he slurs romantically. I can tell when someone's avoiding a question, but then again, if he's buying, why not?

'I shouldn't have more of these,' he stifles a giggle, 'I'll become fat.' I snigger, what would that make me?
Borderline obese.

"You can ask a gay man how much he earns, but you can never ask him how much he weighs."

You can ask a gay man how much he earns, but you can never ask him how much he weighs. Cue for me to fawn over him. My glass is empty, and I wouldn't mind a refill. He beckons the waiter over with his fingers, as I gush sycophantically about how thin he is. The rum pours freely, and I hear three new cubes of ice clink in my glass. That's three reasons why I need to down this glass sooner.

It's not all been child's play, the boy says to me as I play tag with my glass. He's been a Cancer survivor thrice over, and there has been no looking back ever since. Somehow downing my drink doesn't seem like a very good idea anymore. It's not deterred him, and now he takes life more seriously (luncheons and art do's aside), spending months in chemotherapy makes you appreciate the smaller things in life. What next?

He moves to Delhi in a month and is considering taking up the job on the advisory board while he studies three times a week. For an average twenty-seven-year-old, that would be a lot to handle. But he's not your average twenty-seven-year-old. How does he feel now?

He's feeling feisty. He leans over and kisses me on my nose and then gawks at his own foolhardiness. What if someone saw us? Will they throw us out? Do you think the man at the next table is looking at us? Do you think the man at the next table is cute? Do you think I am drunk? Do you think I ask too many questions?

I giggle and tell him he doesn't. Between the seventh and eighth glass of Rum and Coke, he tells me he has something else to tell me. My heart skips a beat, and I almost pull my feet away. What can it be this time?

Is he a spy with the CBI? Was he abducted by aliens as a child? Was he lying this whole time? Does he have to go back home? Am I too fat? Did I say something wrong? Is there something stuck in my tooth? I am sure there's something stuck in my tooth.

As I feel around my mouth with my tongue, he tells me he has royal blood. I give him the once over once again. He has a lanky frame and a sculpted face, and I believe him. He might not be the conventional Disney prince, but he will do. I smile at him. He smiles back. Looks like I don't have to kiss a frog to get my Prince Charming.

We still split the bill two ways.



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Podcast: The Origins Of Organic Food And Why We Should Take It More Seriously

October 19, 2015, 7:48 pm

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The science of nutrition is, and always has been, a confounding mess. Are carbohydrates good or bad? Do you really need to banish fat from your diet? Can salt actually cause irreparable harm? The answer to these questions changes every few years. Add to this the plethora of diets that keep coming in and going out of fashion every few months, and you're left confused about what really is healthy. However, the one trend that has been consistent is the organic food movement.

Organic farming is a form of agriculture that does not use artificial pesticides or fertilisers, relying instead on natural ways of growing crops. Much like the Palaeolithic diet, organic food, as a concept, involves going back to our roots. It's evident that organic farming was once the only way we knew how to farm. Forest gardening, for example, has an ancient history, and features practices that are similar to organic farming. Reader's Digest says it perfectly in this article about the facts of organic farming - "Before World War II, all crops were organic. It was only afterward that farms used new, synthetic pesticides and chemicals to minimize weed, insects, and rodent damage."

The article goes on to point out that while organic farming isn't new, what has changed, is our understanding of the harmful effects of chemicals and pesticides that are used in large-scale farming. However, whether there really are sufficient health benefits of eating only organic produce is debatable. This article by Vox is a good read; it explains the finer points of the organic food debate, and brings to attention facts that are often glossed over by proponents of organic food.



Of course, it would be thoughtless to argue that organic food has absolutely no benefits. But, regardless of the debate, wellness is just one side of the coin. Another USP of organic produce is its taste and variety. In the episode, agriculturalist Shishir Chachad tells Vikram about the several vegetables and fruits that are now mostly produced on a smaller scale. Black moong, rakthshali rice, karonda, snap melon... these are lovely products and excellent ingredients.

And the taste? Well, it may be a matter of personal perception, but a report in National Geographic's food section references a study that explains how organic food might taste better than conventional produce. "Studies considered in the BJN paper show that higher antioxidant levels affect food's organoleptic qualities - taste, aroma, and mouthfeel - and how the human senses detect a food's unique flavor," the article states.

Most of us may not consider these points while shopping for organic produce. The rich taste and varied produce are oft-ignored aspects of organic farming. But, remember, nature can, sometimes, be the best creator of flavours.

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Why I, A Muslim, Hosted A Pork Dinner To Counter Religious Extremism

October 19, 2015, 7:48 pm

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The lynching of a middle-aged Muslim man for allegedly consuming beef in Dadri wasn't a vicious campaign getting out of hand for the Bharatiya Janata Party. It was an inevitable outcome of their projects to forge a vote base around a religious community.

Now, it is highly preposterous to argue that all those who voted or will vote for the BJP will support 200 Hindus forming a militant mob and killing one unarmed man about to sleep at home. But politics, when done around aestheticised, emotionalised images such as the cow, does have the potential to construct communities as majority and minority. The "spurs of the moment" in the form of mob terror only consolidates these segments. Like in the Mahabharata, once into a war situation, there is no right or wrong. All that there is to it is support, protect and fight for "your people". Hence bringing people into that conflict zone is important for politics that believes in the right of the might. Even daring oppositions and ethically and constitutionally provoked responses run the risk of acting within this frame where meat is used as some kind of a short form for religious consolidation and its political narratives.

"Though there were only three or four threats, my fear of repercussions only gave me yet another reason to hold the event... "

It was this anguished awareness of the need to reject the current frame of discussion in my own personal ways that made me put up a post on my Facebook page on 5 October, in which I offered a treat of pork to the first five people who expressed an interest in doing so. Despite being a Muslim and a non-pork eater for religious, personal and cultural reasons, my point was to give the militants a lesson in respecting and living with people with different faiths, food habits and cultural practices.

The attention that my FB post got went beyond anything I had imagined. What started off as extraordinary interest among Facebook friends slowly found its way into mass media, starting with the Huffington Post and Doolnews in Malayalam. The story was eventually picked up by as many as 18 English-language media houses, many regional newspapers and some international newspapers and radio channels, including Radio France International. Tens of thousands of likes and thousands of shares from these links and the hundreds of messages and comments I received in support pointed to the possibility that the twist in the story, a Muslim offering pork to protest the lynching for eating beef, did resonate with many people.

In addition to exultation, there were three other responses: warnings of danger that could come my way, a certain silence, and dismissals and scathing criticisms that filled the online space. Though there were only three or four threats, my fear of repercussions only gave me yet another reason to hold the event -- for fear has to be addressed, not shied away from. The chosen silence of some was positive to me: pushing people into an uncomfortable domain of political confusion helps the objective of rejecting the available frames. As for the repeated and abundant criticisms, they need to be answered.

The first and most repeated allegation against me was that the whole post was a publicity stunt. My counter-question: what kind of a country do we live in where one Facebook post offering lunch could become international news? The news value of this step only proves the shallowness of our Republic's political reality today. It does not provide any window to value judge my intentions or benefits!

"[W]hat kind of a country do we live in where one Facebook post offering lunch could become international news?"

Many argued that I was creating a binary between holy cow (for Hindus) and prohibited pork (for Muslims). Aren't the reasons quite different and hence the step fallacious, I was asked. First of all, there was no attempt to position the event as beef versus pork. The attempt was against political oppositions created using these food choices. The question would have worked had I been advocating that somebody who worships the cow as holy should kill one to serve others. I wasn't saying that (nor was I killing pigs to serve -- I was merely ordering a meat I wouldn't eat for others). The point was about cultural, religious and personal differences and on keeping one's beliefs to oneself, rather than imposing them on others. Moreover, no believer, however strong his or her faith is, wants to kill people who eat meat of the genus of the animal they worship. It is a matter of rule of law getting disrupted in the politics of hatred. My critique was aimed at the impact -- not scriptural intent.

I was supporting cruelty towards animals, went another lot. Well, I would respect that argument when such people stop using sugar, medicines, leather, percussion instruments and beauty products that use animal body parts. Till then, I can only wonder about the politics of those who time their talk on animal rights for days in which people are getting killed for eating meat.

At a time when fascism is creeping in, aren't such steps through food silly? We are trapped more by lifestyle than by ideologies. Forgetting the concreteness of experience for abstract political ideas can be dangerously inadequate. To the question if it isn't too soft and benevolent a gesture to violent killing, my response is: well, there are and there must be non-violent ways to counter violence. When the political need of majoritarianism is to polarise and turn discourses entirely arbitrary, communicative actions that build towards an ethical, peaceful platform can be potent. Or so I hoped.

"To the question if it isn't too soft and benevolent a gesture to violent killing, my response is: well, there are and there must be non-violent ways to counter violence."

Some Islamists thought I was attempting to "look secular" and become a "good Muslim" -- it was not that they didn't notice what the protest was about, but they had to be cynical, for polarisation benefits them equally. Some dyed-in-the-wool progressives were critical I stated my religion as Muslim. My confusion was that, had I been a Christian or Hindu, where is the political point? I don't believe religious identity is the only identity one has. Everyone is Hindu/Muslim/Christian among many other things (be that gender, caste, region, language, race or nationality). The ones prioritised will keep changing as per the context. At this juncture of our discourses and in this particular political step, it became important to state my religious identity.

Anyways, in these strange times, the most normal of things to do like taking people with varying food preferences and cultural differences out to lunch, had to be staged. It's a time when deciding to "stay you" and refusing to recognise the unethical and violent compulsions around becomes a political critique. It was performed in its everydayness but without losing its crucial political content.

As one of us, Benston John, summed it up in his Facebook post after the event:

We had among us Hindus , Muslims, Christians and a Sikh! We are from the academia, NGOs, IT sector, banking and freelance! We ate beef, pork, lamb, chicken and vegetables but we did it together and all the while respecting each other's choices of what to eat and what not to eat! And we also share a lot more in common even with all the differences. We share concern, anguish and frustration over the fascism that is taking over this beautiful land of ours. But we did not let anything spoil our meal!

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An Open Letter To Mr. Narendra Modi

October 19, 2015, 11:11 pm

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I'm a 24-year-old Indian girl who lives in a metropolitan city brought up by law-abiding Indian citizens in an Indian community and brought up in an Indian 'culture'. When I was growing up, I had to memorise the preamble of the constitution.

I never knew what it meant then and it didn't make a difference to me other than the 10 extra marks I would get for writing it down verbatim.

WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a

SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC and to secure to all its

citizens:

JUSTICE, social, economic and political;

LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;

EQUALITY of status and of opportunity;

and to promote among them all

FRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the

Nation;

The Preamble adopts the word Sovereign to declare India as free and independent from both internal and external forces. While we maybe independent from external forces, we do however have forces, movements and ideologies such as yours that limit the growth of the country. Where there are limitations there can be no freedom.

And you, the elected leaders of our country have failed the constitution and with it, its people.
We declare ourselves socialist which means democratic socialism i.e. achievement of socialistic goals through democratic, evolutionary and non-violent means.

Being a country that gained its independence and sovereignty through non-violence and Ahimsa, it's quite shameful that you resort to inking, lynching and shooting to get your point across. You have once again failed to uphold your constitution but more importantly, the law.

Since secularism might be new to you, I'll break it down for you. This means that the Government, including and especially the Prime Minister of India, respects all religions and does not uplift or degrade any religion i.e India has no state religion.

Before you get all defensive and start questioning my 'culture' and my 'ethnicity', please bare in mind that it isn't me saying these words. It's the constitution of India, the country you swear by and whose culture you've been upholding so disastrously.

At this point of time, I'd like to quote our dear 'Culture' Minister who went on record to say
about the Dadri lynching - "I feel this incident occurred due to some misunderstanding and
the law should truthfully act against whoever is responsible for it."Sure, it was an 'accident'
and a 'misunderstanding' that led to the death of an innocent man who was pulled out of his own home and beaten in front of his family on suspicion that he was storing beef, which later proved to be mutton! Our beloved Prime Minister who has social media down to a pat, took 10 days to respond. I will not go into the fact that he asked us to listen to the speech and didn't refer to the incident at any point of time.

Or that he asked Hindus and Muslims to fight poverty instead. Sure, the next time we have a life-threatening disease, let's all cure ourselves instead of looking to doctors!

I'd also like to bring to your attention the words of your own Vichitra Tomar, "The police have arrested innocent people. We also demand legal action against those people, who are engaged in cow slaughter as it is hurting Hindu sentiments."Inciting communal tension and lynching a man are acts of 'innocent people'? How can we have leaders like this?

How can you lead a secular nation of varying religions when you are actively biased against certain communities based on their religion and nothing else?

Do you think scholar Kalburghi's wife who unknowingly opened the door to her husbands murderers feels that her husband's brutal and cold-blooded murder has been given justice? Does Narendra Dhabolkar's children feel that they have received justice for the assassination of their visionary father? Or if Mohammed Akhlaq's brutal lynching has been served justice?

Clearly, your leaders' words show that they don't deserve justice, but according to our constitution and any other rational person, they do.

While you ponder that, here's another shocker for you. The Preamble, in effect the constitution, ensures its citizens their right to Liberty. This means that all citizens are secured with liberty of thought, expression, belief, faith & worship. The irony is that, this exists in the Preamble and is part of the Fundamental Rights of a citizen of India.

And yet we have you, the elected leaders and hopeful leaders of our country violating our right to freedom of expression. Was Govind Pansare not allowed to voice his opinion on what he believed were social wrongs? Was he not allowed to express his belief that Sivaji was a secular leader who appointed Muslims as his generals. You could take a leaf out of Sivajis book, who supposedly is your icon.

Is it insecurity? I'm ashamed to ask if it is something that petty, but why else would you find the need to ink a highly regarded academic because he was headed to a book launch by a respected ex-diplomat?

At this time, I would like to directly address our honourable Prime Minister. Sir, when you came to power a year and half ago. You gave me hope. You reinvigorated in me a belief, a belief that India could be better and I could contribute to it. You made me think that "Kuch nahi hone wala" was just my self-doubt. You were strong and bold and we needed someone like you. Because to lead 1 billion people, you need such qualities.

And I thought, maybe this is exactly what India needs, a fierce leader. Now, you travel the world, visiting countries that you say will help strengthen India's economy, you invite nations to invest in our rich country to help it grow and you get made fun of. Cartoonists draw you, writers mock you and the media chides you for travelling too much. Yet I think he's travelling for India, he's getting nations to notice India, he's marketing for India and I continued to defend you.

But Sir, I've reached the end of the line. Your deafening silence is too hard to ignore anymore. Where are you when you're country is beginning to tear itself apart. Where are you when we look to you to unite us, to assure us that we are all still one. Where are you when writers across the country are uniting to defend the Preamble that you so conveniently have forgotten. You are silent.

Your silence leaves hooligans and rogues unchecked. Instead of reminding everyone of the very basic principles, our great country was built upon - freedom, independence, secularity, tolerance and equality, you chose to distance yourself and your government from the problem. You even went as far as to blame your opposition. Is it sad? Yes, of course it is. But what are you doing about it?


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Audi A6 Matrix - The Luxury Saloon That Does Everything Just Right

October 20, 2015, 8:00 pm

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Cruise the roads of Mumbai and its hard to not notice the sheer number of SUV's that bear the famous four rings on its grille. However unlike SUVs, Audi has been grappling to grab a sizable slice of the equally lucrative and competitive mid-level luxury car segment. But the carmaker plans to change that, we spend a few days with the latest weapon in its arsenal with which the Ingolstadt-based carmaker plans to embed the characters 'A6' firmly in a world dominated by 'E' and '5'.



Compared to its predecessor the A6 Matrix has a more aggressive and sportier stance. A result of the 3D chrome grille, sleek LED headlamps, 18-inch alloys, dual rectangular exhaust pipes and swooped up LED tail lamps. Though much sharper the A6 Matrix still retains the elegance that its predecessors offered. The highlight of the car, which Audi has actually included in the branding, are the Matrix headlamps. To put it simply it's a brilliant piece of technology, the headlights use an array of LEDs, which are controlled by sensors that not only light up the road ahead and on the side when cornering, but a camera detects oncoming cars and depending on your speed each lamp adjusts its luminosity so that the oncoming car driver is not blinded by the strong light. Did I say that the LEDs make up for even sexier daytime running lights?



Step inside the A6 and you are greeted by the plush interiors. The dominant beige color makes the already spacious cabin feel even bigger. It is perfectly complimented by the fine grain wood inlays on the dashboard and the chrome accent knobs and buttons. Clad in Milano leather the front seats are electronically adjustable and come with memory function. Part of the upgrade is an even more intuitive MMI interface which now offers an 8-inch slide out screen. Media can be played back via Bluetooth, USB, CD / DVD or the onboard 10 GB hard drive. The A6 Matrix has a treat for audiophiles it comes loaded with a Bose surround system which has a total of 14 speakers embedded in the car which will beautifully bring to life an orchestra, an EDM arena and everything in the middle. Navigation and advanced voice dialogue system are also a part of the MMI interface which can be easily controlled via a click wheel and a touchpad with character recognition. There is also a remote control for the backseat passenger to control the MMI interface truly 'Like a Boss'. Speaking of the boss, the rear passengers have ample leg, shoulder and headroom and while they bask in the soft leather seats the four-zone air-conditioning gently cools their space with the temperature and fan speed of their choice. Front or rear, the cabin in true Audi style is luxurious and equally functional.



" Luckily for me navigating a 1.8 tonne car in the chaos that is Mumbai traffic was a breeze."

Available in just one trim, the A6 Matrix is powered by a 2L turbocharged 4-cylinder diesel motor that is paired with an S-Tronic 7-speed automatic gearbox and I must say that is a match made in heaven. The engine is to say the least 'supremely refined' to the extent that it does not feel 'diesel' at all, there is absolutely no vibration and even to a trained ear the only sound it leaves in the cabin is a faint hum when idling and even at high speeds. To test it for city driving we drove the car in peak traffic from Andheri to Parel, a route that disrupts the zen of even the most peaceful souls. Luckily for me, navigating a 1.8-tonne car in the chaos that is Mumbai traffic was a breeze. The first thing you notice is that for a car of this size the steering is extremely light. Apart from navigating through all the obstacles that the roads throw at you even parking in tight spots was effortless. Then there is the S-Tronic dual clutch gearbox which is not only one of the smoothest in the segment but in the industry as well, it picks the right gear and that too very fast, this combined with an impressive torque makes overtaking fun and easy.



The feeling of being relaxed after a 90 minute (22 km) journey was truly surprising, but something even more surprising than that was this was a practically bump free ride. What happened to the infamous potholes? Equipped with the adaptive air suspension the Audi A6 Matrix just floats over most of them, depending on the driving style and the road conditions, the system automatically adjusts each of the individual dampers every couple of milliseconds so that each wheel tries to absorb any and all irregularities on the road. With a press of a button the car can also be raised by a couple of millimeters, so that the speed breakers don't scathe its under belly.



Driving the A6 Matrix on the highway is equally fun. The car churns out 190 HP and 400 nM of torque and according to Audi the car goes to 100 from a standstill in 8.5 seconds. Press the throttle hard, and the acceleration is poised with minimal turbo lag There are three driving modes: comfort, dynamic, auto and the configurable individual mode. Comfort is ideal for city driving the steering is light, gearshifts are fast and the suspension is relaxed, with dynamic the steering becomes heavier, gears are held on to longer and the suspension becomes stiffer making this mode ideal for spirited driving. The A6 Matrix is an excellent cruiser even at a speed of 135 km/hr the engine would comfortably hum at 1600 RPM in the 7th gear. It is this refinement that makes cruising so much fun, we did it for over 400 km without breaking a sweat and it is efficient too. the A6 Matrix delivered an astounding 18.7 km on the highway and 11.5 km to the liter in the city.


The A6 Matrix impresses when it comes to safety as well, there are eight airbags spread across the cabin for all the passengers, ABS and electronic stabilization control. Aiding the driver there is a rear camera and hydraulic brake assist along with hill-descent control.



Overall the Audi A6 Matrix is a wonderful car: it has a very elegant and appealing design, it is spacious, packs in a generous set of features, the engine actually sets a benchmark when it comes to refinement, it is fast and green too. The ride is comfortable and so silent that once in you are cut off from the outside world. Even through a looking glass it's hard to find fault with the A6 Matrix except that performance enthusiasts will surely miss the petrol, 3 liter V6 and the Quattro drive variants. With such features and a compelling price of just Rs 49.5 lacs (ex-showroom), it will surely take some of the light away from the Mercedes E Class BMW 5 series and the Jaguar XF.



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10 Things Every Aspiring Politician Must Do

October 20, 2015, 8:00 pm

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There is no glory in being part of the everyday crowd -- the hamsters who can't see beyond the blur of their wheels. Don't be a 9-to-5 nobody. Do something fulfilling with your life.

Consider a career in Indian politics! It will change your life! After all, one doesn't enter politics to change the lives of others.

However, it isn't easy for a newcomer in Indian politics. If you are the son/daughter of a politician, stop reading this article and go back to planning your next holiday. If you aren't, here are a few tips to make it in this promising business.

1. Act the part

A true politician looks awe-inspiring. No party wants an emaciated wisp of a man with a lot of ideas. Appearance is everything. You must look intimidating! Bulk up and stock your wardrobe with white kurtas (or expensive designer-wear). Your clothes must have pockets to carry everyday essentials such as knives, pepper spray etc.

"Traffic signals and toll booths are for the weak. Drive anywhere you like. On one way streets, pavement dwellers etc... You are a god. Act like one."

Buy an SUV, slap on tinted glasses, a "fancy" license plate and take on the world. Drive at break-neck speed with your party's flag fluttering on your car bonnet and your entourage in tow. Following traffic rules is a sign of mortality and a sure way to lose the next election. Traffic signals and toll booths are for the weak. Drive anywhere you like. On one way streets, pavement dwellers etc... You are a god. Act like one.

2. Embrace the media circus

Let's face it. The nation does not "want to know". But you can't afford to have such an attitude. The newsroom is where you must do battle these days. Be diligent. Practice by screaming over loud, heavy metal music every day. It will prepare you for prime time debates.

Approach any debate fearlessly and remove logic and decency from your mind. It doesn't matter if your fellow party-man raped and pillaged last night. You must defend him vociferously and point out that a representative of another party did the same 50 years ago and therefore the act is perfectly justified.

If your vocal chords are strong, your logic pointless and your hide thicker than a rhino's, you can aspire to the coveted post of party spokesperson.

3. Make controversial remarks

Do you actually want your political career to pass by without a ripple? What is the point of doing "quiet, productive work in the background"? Wake up! This is serious business! If you want to get noticed, make sure you occasionally say something insensitive when there are many cameras around.

Topics you can choose from include women, migrants, religion, beef consumption, terrorism etc. History has shown that "women-targeted remarks" send the media into a tizzy. Every politician worth his/her salt, must say something derogatory about women sometime.

Call for all women to stay indoors after 5pm, justify rape somehow, say that women must do nothing, except make perfect rotis, and churn out babies (five of them). Say that migrant labourers aren't welcome. State that ancient Indians invented plastic surgery before the time of dinosaurs. Justify the beating up of toll attendants, consenting couples and of people from the Northeast. The more controversial you are, the more you will be covered on "super prime time" and the more you will be appreciated by your party.

"Don't worry about sounding vitriolic. Your party can always blame it on 'unknown fringe elements', claim that you were 'misquoted' and that the video evidence is 'false'."


Time it well, with a gap of at least three weeks between each remark. Don't worry about sounding vitriolic. Your party can always blame it on "unknown fringe elements", claim that you were "misquoted" and that the video evidence is "false".

4. Do not support Pakistan-- ever!

Some complacent politicians have made the mistake of saying things like, "Not all Pakistanis are terrorists"...or "We want peace with Pakistan"... or "We must start a dialogue"...

T his is political hara-kiri. Don't make such remarks and jeopardise your career.

If Pakistan extends something that looks suspiciously like an olive branch, you must scream bloody murder. If India suffers a bad monsoon, blame it on the ISI. If Pakistan beats India at cricket, the umpire must have an anti-India agenda. If their U-17 cricket team is stuck in transit at Delhi airport, you must publicly call for their removal from Indian soil. If Pakistani ghazal singers and authors ever set foot here, you must threaten to disrupt their events. This makes you a "nationalist".


5. Think global

You can't be a frog in the well. Make sure you spread your wings to foreign shores and proudly represent your country at international fora you know nothing about.

Go on junkets every six months. Spare no expense. Take a break to rejuvenate. Catching a few winks in the assembly isn't sufficient. You need a good "work-life balance". Nothing like a relaxing "study leave" with your family to calm your mind after vigorous election campaigns and hate-speeches.

6. Be the aam-admi

When a farmer dies, make sure you are the first to arrive at his village and comfort the family. Reach there before a rival politician does. Get back to your office in time to tell the media about the compensation package your party has announced and point out that you are more sensitive to human suffering than Mother Teresa was.

"Corruption has ended the careers of a few politicians (one or two). Make sure you get away with it."

Stay in a villager's house every now and then. It is essential that the media is around to cover it. There should be photographs of you playing with village children, sharing a meal with a family etc.

You must appear secular and earnest. Attend iftar parties and church masses, roll rotis at a gurudwara, practice yoga in the media's presence and take occasional dips in the Ganges before important elections.

7. When you are in opposition, stonewall!

Politics has its ups and downs. You may not always win elections. Don't be disheartened. You can still make a difference by sitting in opposition.

The true function of the opposition is to refute everything the ruling party says. Whatever their point is, you must instantly call it absolute rubbish. Reaction time is crucial. It can range anywhere from two to five minutes, but not beyond that.

If it is a package for farmers, say it is "anti-poor". If a new committee is formed, call it an "eyewash". Whenever your rivals present the budget, call it "disenfranchising" on Twitter. Quote the work of activists and environmentalists. They are irritants when you are in power, but extremely useful when you aren't.

If you absolutely can't find anything negative to say about an initiative, say that it was originally your party's idea.

8. Treat your workers well

It doesn't matter if you have never met them. These foot soldiers are absolutely essential for your success. If you keep them happy, they will do anything for you. You need them to erect hoardings, statues, go on hunger strikes, shout pointless slogans, smear ink on dissenters, disrupt Valentine's Day etc. Remember, they are your representatives at all times, so make sure they are goons.

9. Deal with corruption

Ah! The Achilles heel! Corruption has ended the careers of a few politicians (one or two). Make sure you get away with it.

Corruption is unavoidable. Telling a politician not to be corrupt is like expecting a hungry lion to eat vegetables.

Politicians don't get eight-figure salaries and careers are sometimes short. Make hay while the sun shines and grab as much as you can, when you can and stash it all overseas or in gunny bags at your farmhouse. You need money to fuel your recurring expenses as a politician -- bribes to bureaucrats and henchmen, family holidays, birthday parties, new suits, etc...

10. Serve the people

Lastly, don't forget that you are a representative of the people.

You owe it to the people who made you financially successful -- corrupt bureaucrats and officials, lawyers, henchmen, family connections and other politicians.

Don't forget about them as you move up the ladder. Get them government jobs. Bypass IAS officers and appoint your nephews instead. Share your hard-earned wealth with your cronies. You will always be remembered. Have a wonderful career in politics.




This is meant to be a satirical piece deliberately focusing on one particular stereotype for humour's sake. It isn't intended to be disrespectful of the entire political class nor dismissive of certain valiant efforts to make this country a better place.



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